I was shocked first thing this morning. New sensations surged through my body ever so slowly until running out of room and slipping on out through the tips of my toes. Wide awake and reverent, I felt shocked, stood there shocked, wondering if any part of me would soon short out.
Energy, a day of energy between roles and positions keeping me a bit guarded. The air now alive with lightening and thunder rollicks through my security daring me to stay in the game. Sacred spaces drenched in awareness of change. Cold nights, varying days melting away into energy.
Pouring sounds alive, as trees shake with the glory of power and speak boldly to me. “You stay inside, fearful one, while I stand with the forest and feel the beauty of life. You stay safe, little one, while I lift my branches up into the clouds releasing what weighs them down. My leaves receive their tears and bow to their hurried need to fall furiously to the soil embraced one by one joining in the dance. Gathered at the stream, they flow.”
Energy, powerful force, almighty drenching stirs me to my soul as fearful self says, “Run, hide! Safe, get safe and miss this moment. Miss the pounding of the leaves, the cymbals in the sky, and retreat to what you already know.” Still, I sit. Riding the waves of power pounding around me cleansing the air and opening into new space I have not met before.
A swell of love fills this space as I rest and write and stop to remember to breathe. Hair stands on end as the air thickens around me. I will not run.
Feeling the energy, I begin to unwrap myself, expose my fears, surrender to the moment and say here have all of me. Trapped for too long in a corral too small, controlled by my logic, imprisoned by worry, I bravely sprinted from split rail to split rail looking to the other side. No fences out there. Too scary, I did not dare. My corral I know so well. From corner to corner I have built a reality in a world where I can win, but truly it’s become my without spirit place filled with comfort, knowing, boredom, and pain.
Energy, this energy around me shakes up the world and says, “Hey, pay attention. THIS is your life. Notice me. Be aware of you. Let your self flow forth in the stream I have just spilled so wildly, so sweetly, before you.
In that moment, I remembered words I’d heard earlier…"Throw your heart over the fence…your self will follow.” So today without fanfare I take my heart and fling it into the energy of what’s on the other side.