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Writer's pictureConnie Cruthirds

And She Smiled Back


Pandemic mind wanders

like her namesake.


Information overload.

Do this. Do that.

Until she says,

“I just can’t.”


Yesterday,

she ate a big bowl of blueberries,

hoping their sweet

would tame

the tart of life.


She stared at talking heads,

read woven words,

as tales of life and death,

brought her day to a halt.


Still she barreled through

dragging

her mule of a mind forward

because

Sitting in the mud of her mind

Felt indulgent.


The world clammers,

‘Let's get on with it”,

as if we can ever be the same.


No longer a virgin pandemic mind,

she can't unsee,

she can't unknow,

what once was possibility,

now very real.


Those who know,

know horrors and truths

that shake

and

rattle foundations.


Those who doubt

haven't seen

what those who know

can’t ever forget.

Like towers collapsing,

and the cloud of debris that rises,

the air hasn't cleared enough

for senses

to make sense

of this.

This moment

so full of loss,

inviting profound change

or not.

Pandemic mind is new

popped up on the screen,

a million questions

few answers

changing every day.


Candle light flickers

guiding her swirling mind from left to right

as words

pour themselves across her journal’s page.


Early morning sky colors

wandering from dark to deep baby blues

peek in

nudging her more awake.

Eyes open wider.

She looks left,

sees Venus over her shoulder,

her mind hushes.


In this stillness she hears

a bigger voice within,

“Go see sun’s rise”


And she does.


Pink skies welcome her to another window.

New day invites her to begin again.

As pink pulls orange forward

and

soft clouds bounce light between each other

a reflection emerges.

Words whisper to her softly,

“Though darkness might seem foreign

darkness is just darkness.

Planets still shine like stars.

Sun still rises behind clouds.

Go,

reflect light

be light

share light.

Help each other find their way.”


Pandemic mind

sighed

and

softened.


The beautiful sunrise

smiled at her

and

she smiled back.

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